“Hello, how are you?”, “what are you doing?”, “you tak keluar today?”… Honestly, I'm tired of these questions and it gets really normal when certain people ask me, even if they really mean it. It comes to a point when you are aware that people and you yourself are changing too, but you just wouldn’t wanna care about it. You’re seeing patterns and act of changes. But still, you push it away just like you push it last time. But this time, its serious and no turning back, not going back and pretend to be normal or happy, it’ll rip out the goodness you’ve been showing to people and bring up the hell out of you. That is something I don’t want to happen to me.
I haven’t written since January 18th, I have no mood to write. Music, something that I love most has become annoying to me. Good music is shitty as ever, lame ass music becoming good. What a big change for a start. Sigh. Till when is this going to last? How long shall I bleed for you again? How much pain must I take in? How long must I pretend that I am happy? And for once, can you make me happy as how I’ve been making you happy? These silly questions are quite… disturbing. Pointless, such great pain I’ve taken in me has no results of goodness to other people or give me any good. Respect, it’s a big word for them. Patience is not in their interest. Sympathy was never thought to them. Rage, selfish, is the only thing they know and kept it inside them EVEN when people have warned them about it.
Now things are starting to move slowly, sneaking their way out with out hurting others is that’s what they think. The thing is, we’ve already know what’s gonna happen. It’s predictable when you understand the other person more than they understand you. They would say, “I knew it! I know you’re gonna…” bla bla bla… well if you KNEW it why didn’t you try and STOP IT FROM FUCKING HAPPEN? No you don’t know about it. You don’t know about me, you don’t know anything. All you know is you, you, you, and you again and again.
I haven’t written since January 18th, I have no mood to write. Music, something that I love most has become annoying to me. Good music is shitty as ever, lame ass music becoming good. What a big change for a start. Sigh. Till when is this going to last? How long shall I bleed for you again? How much pain must I take in? How long must I pretend that I am happy? And for once, can you make me happy as how I’ve been making you happy? These silly questions are quite… disturbing. Pointless, such great pain I’ve taken in me has no results of goodness to other people or give me any good. Respect, it’s a big word for them. Patience is not in their interest. Sympathy was never thought to them. Rage, selfish, is the only thing they know and kept it inside them EVEN when people have warned them about it.
Now things are starting to move slowly, sneaking their way out with out hurting others is that’s what they think. The thing is, we’ve already know what’s gonna happen. It’s predictable when you understand the other person more than they understand you. They would say, “I knew it! I know you’re gonna…” bla bla bla… well if you KNEW it why didn’t you try and STOP IT FROM FUCKING HAPPEN? No you don’t know about it. You don’t know about me, you don’t know anything. All you know is you, you, you, and you again and again.
And you don’t know that things are moving silently without you noticing it happening to you and I am changing.
Current tracks:
Jean Elan - Where's Your Head At. ( Klass Remix)
B-Quartet - Shoebox.
The Wombats - Moving To New York.
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